68 years ago today, February 26, 1952, our parents, Joseph Magner and Margaret Mary (Peggy) O’Brien were married.
There was no fanfare: no white dress, no bridesmaids, no entourage. I don’t even think my mom carried a bouquet. She wore a small corsage and he a boutonniere to mark the occasion. They had a simple ceremony followed by a meal at a local restaurant.
In a way, they kind of eloped.
They met on a bus
In his twenties, Joe Magner was a National Hunt Jockey. He rode steeplechase races all over Ireland and traveled the country mostly by train and bus. One day he was on a local bus going from his home in Riddlestown to the Limerick train station. The bus stopped in Kildimo, about 15km from Limerick. Peggy O’Brien, also on her way to Limerick, got on and took the seat beside him.
They were never ones to share the details of their courtship. We know little bits here and there. They mostly communicated by letter. He rode races at Fairyhouse, Punchestown, Mallow, Galway, Leopardstown, Naas, Limerick, and others. As he traveled, he wrote to her.
Presumably, she wrote back.
Peggy’s mom, our grandmother, thought the world of Joe.
So when, after a particular race meeting, he didn’t show up for a “date”, she tried to smooth it over with Peggy, who was understandably furious. It seems that Joe had taken a rather bad fall at a fence that day and ended up in hospital with two broken collar bones. They had him taped up so that he could barely move. Needless to say he missed their date and couldn’t even send a telegram to explain why.
Peggy was not pleased. She refused to even open the letter he sent in explanation. So, as any good mother would do…my grandmother steamed open the letter and read it herself! Afterward, she carefully refolded it and sealed it back in the envelope. Eventually, following much pleading and cajoling, she convinced Peggy to read it.
Mom never kept those letters. I suppose in all the times the two of them crossed the Atlantic Ocean, they were lost or simply left behind. It is a pity.
The explanation must have satisfied her because when Joe went to England to work and ride races, she soon followed.
He exercised thoroughbred horses on an estate called Compton Wynates near Upper Tysoe in Warwickshire. She found a teaching position at a local school.
Quiet and Private
They were married in a quiet and private ceremony on a Saturday – February 26, 1952. Mom wore a solid colour suit with a hat. Daddy wore a plain dark suit. Joe did tell us that he sold a horse to buy her rings.
There weren’t too many Roman Catholic churches in rural England at the time. Mom once described the chapel where they were married. She couldn’t remember the name, but she said it was “behind a big Church – the upstairs of a building and just a tiny space used as a church”.
The Catholic Chapel of Sts. Peter and Paul
Armed with this snippet of information, I visited the Cotswolds in 2018. I was on a mission to locate the Church.
Compton Wynyates was easy to find. It is a beautiful Tudor style manor house tucked away in the remote countryside.
But I could find no church in the nearby village of Upper Tysoe so I stopped into the local Post Office – surely they would know, right? The minute I described the church, they recognized it immediately as the Chapel of Sts. Peter and Paul in the village of Upper Brailes, just 5km away.
The imposing Anglican Church was on the square. I wandered through the churchyard to the back as my mom had described. Sure enough, there at the end of a small lane was a building with a sign identifying it as the Chapel.
Originally it had been a mill – the downstairs is the home of the local vicar, the upstairs is the chapel.
I wandered around – there wasn’t a soul anywhere. Luckily, the chapel was open so I paid a visit. I hoped that the vicar would return, but no.
I sat in a back pew, reflecting back to that February day in 1952 – just a young couple, on their own, promising to spend their lives together, come what may. They had no idea of the adventures life had in store for them. It wasn’t always easy. It wasn’t always happy. But stay together they did. Til death they did part.
Happy Anniversary in Heaven.